My last climb at the UD rock wall
Wake up, eat breakfast, go to class, study, do some homework, eat lunch, go to class again, go climb a bit, come back, eat dinner, do homework, go to sleep.
Repeat.
As my days came to an end, I would reflect on that day, and more often than not, I would be disappointed. I felt like every day, I had to be getting work done from the time I woke up to the time I fell asleep. And if I wasn’t as productive as I hoped I had been that day, I felt like that day was a waste. Like I wasn’t trying hard enough. I struggled with satisfaction in my daily life. It only got worse when we were all sent home. With no gyms to climb at and only a few of my courses held through zoom, I felt unmotivated. And in turn, I felt like every day, I was just wasting time.
With all the time we’ve been at home, I’ve been reading a lot. A few weeks ago, I came across this short little Korean poem. Here’s a rough translation:
Remember this
No matter what
Your day today was not a pointless day.
As someone who was never really satisfied with their day at the end of the day, reading those words was really comforting and eye-opening, and it really made me change my perspective on my daily life. I realized that there will be times when you don’t feel as productive, when you don’t feel as motivated as you would on other days, but you shouldn’t feel guilty about that. I’ve taken a lot of time to reflect on myself and how I perceived my life. How every day was like a blur and I would forget to take time and appreciate the little moments. I realized that I always set my standards too high. I would come home and be disappointed that I didn’t have the best climbing day, or I would be upset that I wasn’t ahead on all my schoolwork.
It’s funny to me that most of my time on campus, I spent almost every day with the mindset that I’m not doing well enough. I was obsessed with productivity. I thought that I should be trying harder. It took me being home from school to come to the realization that sometimes, you need to lower the bar. Start the day off with less expectations.
If there’s anything I learned from this semester, it’s that sometimes, it’s okay to take your time. Life doesn’t have to be so fast-paced all the time. Take your time, relax, and enjoy the small things in life. Sometimes, you just need to take a step back and forget the long list of to-do’s.
-Joanna Lee
I really love your post and I think it will serve as a powerful reminder to many people, myself included, that sometimes it’s okay to relax. Your sentence “I felt like every day, I had to be getting work done from the time I woke up to the time I fell asleep,” really resonated with me. I always feel like my day wasn’t well spent if I didn’t get a maximum amount of work done or if every minute wasn’t filled with something useful. I think that has become prevalent now more than ever since being at home has decreased motivation for many of us. It’s really awesome that you’ve taken this time to read more and I think the poem you shared is a simple yet important reminder. I hope you get to go back to climbing soon, but for now I’m glad you’ve been able to “enjoy the little things.” Beautifully written post, I hope you have a great end of the semester!
Cally
LikeLike
The issue you bring up is extremely relatable. I often find myself constantly criticizing myself for not working to the fullest extent. I really liked that short poem because it fully conveys how each day in our life is unique and we can only live it one time. I’m glad to hear you’ve been reading a lot. That’s something I, and many others, have been saying they wanted to do at home but haven’t.
Hope to see you on the wall soon!
LikeLike
Joanna, this is such a beautiful post that highlights the importance of slowing down and enjoying the small things. I love how you detailed the process of learning this lesson, connecting your time on campus at UD and your period of enlightenment at home after reading the Korean poem you mentioned. Additionally, I enjoyed this post because I could relate to it. I am rarely satisfied with my day, and I often struggle to accomplish everything I planned to. Hearing that you also struggle with this (although shocking to me because I am constantly impressed by all that you do) was relieving, for its nice to know that other people experience this. Moving forward, I plan to keep setting goals and expectations, but to lower the bar, and set more reasonable ones, as you have learned to do.
Thanks for a great read, and good luck with the rest of the semester and finals! I miss you!
-Renea
LikeLike
Joanna!!!!
I hope you are doing well. You’ve clearly got some real agile moves on that wall there, and most likely finger six-packs too. I admire that! Rock climbing looks really fun.
I really love this piece, it resonates with me on a number of levels.
“I felt like every day, I had to be getting work done from the time I woke up to the time I fell asleep. And if I wasn’t as productive as I hoped I had been that day, I felt like that day was a waste”
I think you hit the nail on the head. I also felt this way. I kind of always have, since high school at least. It is absolutely amazing that you have unzipped this idea and realized that this way of looking at life is very grass-is-greener esque. You eloquently elucidate that if the grass is always greener elsewhere, where you are presently never feels good enough.
If you never take time to smell the flowers, take a deep breath, and enjoy your hard-work… what’s life all about?
That is what I think of when I read the wonderful poem you have included. Nothing, is ever pointless. In my opinion, doing “nothing” (like, relaxing) is doing something. Being highly productive is kind of like an ebb and flow. You simply can’t always do the best and sometimes doing less is much much more.
Thanks for the really awesome read!
BEST WISHES,
Neil
LikeLike