26th April 2020
Dear Danielle,
I appreciate everything that you’ve done for me, but you’ve failed. You failed when I was a young girl and always sent me away when I wanted to play games with you. You failed when I was in third grade and I had asked you to braid my hair almost every day before school, and you said that you didn’t have time for me in the mornings. You failed when I was in middle school, when I was trying to figure out who I was, and you weren’t there to support me. You failed when I was in high school, when you pressured me to choose a major sophomore year, when I was just beginning to figure out my life. You failed to be the person I needed you to be. Your failure made me strong, though.
Because of you, I learned how to be independent. I learned how to keep myself occupied, when no one else was around. I learned to braid my own hair, and soon began braiding other girls’ hair during recess. I learned who I was through meeting my friends and spending time with them, even though you didn’t like how I was around them. As for choosing my major, well, I learned that biochemistry isn’t really all that I thought it was going to be.
I know that you have made many sacrifices for me and my two brothers over the years, but you’ve also made it evident that I seem like a burden in your life at times. Even back in elementary school, I noticed you paying more attention to my siblings because they were who you wanted them to be. I didn’t fit your mold, nor do I ever think I will. I envy the relationship other girls have with their moms, especially when they call them their “best friend.” Frankly, I don’t feel that we’ve ever really even been friends.
I fear for when I move out, that you won’t want to see me around the holidays. I fear for when I get married, and I have to keep you out of most of the planning because we never agree on things, even if you know my choice will make me happy. I fear for if I have kids, you will try to raise them as you raised me when we visit, and I don’t want another child to have to go through that. I’m supposed to say that I love you, because you’re my mom, but I find it hard to truly mean it at the end of the day.
-Kelsey
English 110 Honors Spring 2020 
This is so powerful and I could feel your disappointment and frustration with your mom as I read it. I am incredibly sorry that you had to go through this, and still have to today. There have been times in my life where my mom was the only person I had, and if I did not have a good relationship with her I probably would not be here today. Due to this, I am beyond impressed at your ability to push through this your whole life and I can tell just by the way you write how strong you really are. I commend you for growing from your mom’s faults, and for being so vulnerable in this piece. It breaks my heart that you fear involving your mom in the most important parts of your life, and I truly hope that you can develop a better relationship with her overtime. Your strength is inspiring, thank you so much for sharing.
Sarina Simpson
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Kelsey, this a very emotional piece and I’m almost at a loss for words. Up until your second to last paragraph, I had just assumed that Danielle was an older sister that you didn’t get along with. I was rather surprised to find out that you were actually writing to your mom. Addressing the letter to “Danielle” rather than “Mom” definitely emphasizes your strained relationship, though. I admire your perseverance through the years as well as your ability to put a positive spin on it. Independence is certainly a great trait to have, and it usually isn’t acquired easily. That being said, I hope you are able to eventually mend your relationship with your mom.
-Nick Whaley
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I am not going to lie this piece had me tearing up. Your writing was truly from the heart and was extremely powerful. It’s amazing how much you were able to open up and share with the rest of the class such a personal part of your life. At first I was reading the post with the image of your older sister or friend in my head until I read, “for me and my two brothers.” After that line it hit me that you were writing to your mother. I think the line, “I didn’t fit your mold, nor do I ever think I will,” is one of the strongest lines in the post. It shows how you have accepted your separation between you and your mother and the independence you have developed. The post was really well written and I hope one day you and your mom will become close.
-Kyle Regan
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Wow, this piece was very impactful. I felt the power and emotion that you put into making this. Not gonna lie, I cried a little at the end. In my life, my mother has been there almost always for me. I never truly put the opposite situation in perspective. This was very eye-opening to me, and I appreciate you sharing this with us. I hope things between you and your mother get better. I am inspired by your quickly developed independence as it took me to get into my dorm before responsibility slapped me in the face. Thank you again for sharing this powerful feeling.
-Austin Grimm
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Kelsey, this was really heartbreaking to read– that you have had to go through all this, and still continue to do so to this day. I hope that things are able to improve between you and your mom. I found it amazing that you are able to post something as deep and meaningful as this; I do not think I would ever be able to, and I really admire you for it.
Chris Metzler
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