Solace

It is truly an honor and privilege to have friends that are six to seven decades older than you. Over the two-month span of winter session, I decided that I would volunteer at a local nursing home. I’ve tended to find nursing homes to be places of great sadness; one final resting place for folks before they rest finally. Something about the notion of elder human beings living their final days in a quiet and (almost inhumane) lonely stupor irks me to the core. I can’t stand the thought of it. Thus I thought I would do my best to try and make the time for those who lived in my local geriatric nursing home vivacious; instead of a dull wait into what lie after life, I eagerly wanted to supply one last haha (yes, haha) to residents; to make their time as residents fun. I know that no one can control the complications that old age tends to stir, but I desired to at least quell the immense loneliness that can be controlled.  After having seen loved ones live and die in nursing homes, I thought I had what life was like nursing homes pegged.  However, I found that even in old age, the human spirit is still quite a steady burning flame… despite the circumstances that can confound it.

              My main job as a volunteer was simple – go door to door and talk with residents. Occasionally I would assist in events held by the recreation staff (like playing the ukulele and singing during birthday parties). Many of the residents that I became friends with had lived wonderful and intriguing lives (and continue to); I was given great wisdom, told many great tales (both funny and touching), and walked hand-in-hand through events that happens decades in the past. Slowly, I began to realize that my judgement of nursing homes needed to be parsed. It is the treatment of the condition, not the condition itself that irks me. I found an amazing resilience, grace, and beauty in the old residents of the nursing home. It was my former experiences with how loved ones were treated at nursing homes that bothered me immensely; it is not a tenet of old age that you be left lonely and barely cared for, but a product of malpractice and misfortune. I hold a new perspective on old age.

              I now see old age as the pinnacle of growth… almost like a great big ol’ oak tree. Starting as a small seed – watered with wonderful moments, loved ones, and successes and failures – this seed matures. Year after year, new experiences thicken the bark and elongate the trunk. Eventually, this tree absorbs all of the nutrients needed. The tree then stands testament to the things that got it to this moment. A beautiful aggregation of every memory, every experience, and every person it had encountered.  Although the trunk may start to hollow, and the roots may start to gnarl, the solace felt from a life lived seems to numb any pain. Some may even see the magic of watching their own saplings receive their own nutrients.

 I now view old age as a privilege, not a something to be feared. Whenever I looked into the eyes of residence at Iliff nursing home, I felt a quiet yet evident sense of completion. Being old is a very happy thing and something to look forward to.